Missing You.

I don't know how many years I'm neglect this blog. As for now, I try to post whatever I think is nice to be share.

For now, I already graduated from University and already secured a job that I want. I'm in the middle make a money and try to make my parents happy and pay back their all sacrifice. As for the love life, I think I need to heal first from broken heart. However, I will always remember him. Maybe its hard to move on but I will try. 2 years without him, no news and nowhere to be found. 

The one who teach me what is 'Rindu' and 'Sayang' beside from my parents. Don't get me wrong, I stay with my parents right now so I will see them everyday and they now how hurt I am when he left me. Both of us is been introduced by a friend, maybe its my fault fall in love with military man, I'm always proud of him wherever he go for his duty to protect this country. I only have one picture of him that he give to me. We never see each other and its hard to call him, only whatss app connecting us. Both of us already have a plan for the next step in our relationship but Allah is greater, Allah take you away from me. Maybe you have a reason to do so, I will always remember you. If one fine day, I found a man that can make me happy, I will let you go. Wherever you go, whatever you do I hope you will always safe my dear Lieutenant AH. 

Sincerely,

Nanny.

This Cruel World

i don't know how long i left this blog since my last entry, i'm fine and healthy. (even no one asking about me). After 22 years i born, now i know the world that live is cruel. So cruel until at one point i want to give up half way and leave it all, but there is 2 people in my life still wait and hope i can continue their dream as their daughter.

i was born to make people happy even though they only hear my silly jokes, because i want people know i can be happy even though i'm sad. But the truth is i need only one person who can lend their shoulders for me to let out all my sadness, only one person is enough. I'm happy for my friend who i left her because some small mistake she done in the past, i ignore her but now she found her new friends that can give her happiness, now she can smile again. Forgive me for what i'm done because now you are the one who help me when i'm in trouble.

i wish i can get back to the time when school day is a happy thing for me. Being adult is hard, the responsible is huge. People will do everything to take you down to make sure you lost, i think i will raise up white flag soon but i hope i will not do those. The worst thing i have done is i almost kill myself back in 2011 but i survive and try to stand again, i made it but now i regret why i survive that day.

Did anyone will help me go through this later? or in the end i will be left alone again?

Running but lonely

People ask me why i study far away from peninsular.
Answer : Because i want to run from all people who know me.

why?
Answer : i want to find my new identity, want to be better person. Find new experience.

Worth it?
Answer: I guess its worth it for me but i'm lonely.

never feel regret?
Answer : even though i feel lonely but i never regret, its my decision.

Feeling happy ?
Answer: 50 percent yes i'm happy.

Why 50 percent?
Answer: Because another 50 percent is gone with my sadness.


never feel it until you realize it.

Lets Fly.

it's been a month since i come back home from labuan to shah alam. Then 20 feb i will fly back to labuan for second sem in degree and university life.

I already got the result for sem 1 hehe..not bad for the first time. So i now i can do better than that so they will be a higher target for next sem maybe aiming for be in dean list?

I will try because this is my life, i want do this to change the entire of my life. For 2015 i wish i will be the strongest person who can through every hard time and no one can bring me down because i already tired to listen people words who will bring me down. Some people in this world just help us for their needs not to help us. Be careful with those people.

Till then.. Annyeong...

New Year Resolution.

New Year resolution ke benda..haha..azam saya still sama..nk capai azam yang tak tercapai..bengang tak dgr?

well..21 years old and still single..

minta mak cari jodoh lah..haha tak payah kita risau-risau..kita belajar je..

yg penting genggam ijazah..kerja..teguhkan iman dan akhlak..then kita teruskan ke fasa yang lebih serius..

P/s Saya setia orangnya..

Everybody Wants To Rule The world.

when I listen Lorde song " Everybody Wants To Rule The World" I start thinking if everybody wants to rule the world or the simple word is being a leader? Who will be their follower? This song make me think if we can be a good leader which mean you have the chance to rule the world if you cannot be a leader its okay you can be a follower but the one who have better idea and a good thinker to help the leader...so the follower also have a big contribution.. Understand? hehe..

The Song for Soul.

Bau-Warkah

Takkan lagi aku menunggu
kau hadir di dalam mimpi-mimpiku
puasku mengharapkan dirimu
seperti mereka yang punya cinta

Diriku tanpa dirimu
kau tempuhi penuh bahagia
diriku mahu kau tahu
pedih ini kau tak terasa

Warkahku mengharapkan dirimu
seperti yang aku kenali dulu
setiaku menantikan dirimu
seperti setianya terhadap diriku

Tapiku melepaskan mu
melangkah namun tak berdaya
terusku terus menunggu
cinta yang takkan pernah ada


My all time favourite song..

Aku Disini Menantimu.

Berapa lama pun aku harus menunggu,
Namun aku percaya kau ada untukku,
Hanya waktu sahaja yang belum tiba,
Untuk kau muncul dalam hidupku,

Aku terima jika kau yang terbaik untukku,
Jika kau ditakdirkan untukku sekalipun aku terima,
Aku akan sentiasa menemanimu dan menjagamu,
Diseluruh hayatku,

Kerna kau raja yang bertahkta di hatiku,
Genggamlah tanganku disepanjang jalan hidupku,
Jika kau lepaskan genggaman itu,
Aku tahu itu pengakhirannya,

Dimanapun kau berada,
Aku berdoa untukmu,
Semoga doa ku mengiringimu,
Hingga saat itu aku setia bersamamu,

Dan Aku Disini Menantimu. 

Positive Thinking?

aloha, readers.
dari entry saya yang terakhir rasanya dah sebulan saya tinggalkan blog ni. Sorry lah kebelakangan ni sangat sibuk sebab baru tahu Kehidupan di Universiti jika anda seorang pelajar tahun satu bukan suatu perkara yang mudah.

Sedang menyesuaikan diri dengan keadaan dan tempat baru walaupun dah sebulan berada di bumi Labuan.

Sedang berusaha mencuba dengan lebih baik lagi.

Sedang mencari apa yang harus dilakukan agar tidak tersasar dari jalan yang dirancang.

Sedang memperbaiki kelemahan diri.

dan akhir sekali sedang berusaha, mencari dan memperbaiki segala aspek yang ada pada diri saya.

Tiada siapa yang sempurna termasuk awak ! awak ! dan saya juga.

Just think positive everything will be fine.

" WINNER never quit and QUITTER never win."

Selamat Hari Merdeka Malaysia.

walaupun hanya tinggal beberapa jam lagi untuk ke 1 september 2014 namun saya ingin mengucapkan Selamat Hari Merdeka kepada tanah air ku Malaysia.

tidak kira apa pun bangsa kita, Kita satu Malaysia dan inilah tanah tumpah darahku..


p/s esk 1 september bermulalah hari ku sebagai seorang pelajar Universiti.

My Way.

hello readers...salam sayang hehe..

saya tak tahu nak expresikan perasaan saya macam mana tapi beginilah...

Saya dah dapat tawaran untuk melanjutkan pelajaran ke Universiti untuk ijazah sarjana muda. Bagi saya ni kejayaan saya yang paling manis sekali akhirnya selepas saya kecewa dan gagal dalam SPM tahun 2011, STPM bagi saya harapan walaupun saya rasa saya akan kecundang lagi. Saya orang yang takut kepada kegagalan, kekecewaan dan kesunyian itulah benda yang paling saya takutkan tapi untuk hidup 'i need to be strong'. Tapi rezeki berpihak kepada saya alhamdulillah saya berjaya harungi STPM dengan jayanya bagi sayalah.

saya nak jadi kebanggaan keluarga sebab saya dah penat tengok ayah saya kagum dengan kejayaan anak orang lain, why not saya cuba lebih sikit supaya ayah dan mama boleh bangga dengan saya. Since saya dapat tawaran tu saya nampak macam mana gembiranya ayah dan mama bila cerita yang anak sulung mereka iaitu saya dapat sambung belajar.

ayah dan mama dah bayar semuanya untuk pastikan saya sambung belajar. Insyallah satu hari nanti kak long akan bawa balik segulung ijazah yang ayah dan mama nak.

-maybe i'm not the best but i will be the greatest person in and out. I will change everything. For those who trust me keep it that way, thank you. We already make a promise don't broke it. Because you will be the one who important for me. Come on Razny keep calm and follow the flow.-

-R.H.R 14-

p/s ada seminggu lagi sebelum berlepas.

change.

hi readers...
now i'm fully comeback.
so wait for my latest update tomorrow okay..

i'm sorry

its been 4 months since the last post...hehe..so i will make a time for post on this blog again..

Anyway eventhough it was too late but i just want to said, i happy right now..my result, my job and everybody who always with me....

fanfic?

all of you know what is fanfic? kalau tak tahu meh sini saya cerita kan..fanfic ni ialah peminat tulis story pasal artis tak kisah lah artis mana sekali pun korea , malaysia , jepun dan lain-lain lagi..fanfic ni hanya rekaan dengan imaginasi penulis itu sendiri....saya nak recommend satu cerita ni kalau anda berminat nak baca lah ya..http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/608806/sacrifice-exo-kai-sehun

saya akan kongsikan sikit description cerita tu...

SACRIFICE

by annagarcia

Description

As the youngest in a group who are in preparation to debut , Oh Sehun need to sacrifice his childhood life to pursue his dream...but its not easy as he thought , there is a moment and incident make him wants to give up..but what happen when a girl came in his life? and the moment that he spend with his other 11 brothers in EXO ? and how big his sacrifice that he will do it?can he hold it ?

                                                               FOREWORD                                                                 

this story including the member of EXO...this story just imaginary from the writer..this story also including what EXO member will do if their not longer a singer or not in the group anymore..to people who read it this is just a fanfic and my first try to write this fanfic...enjoy.

P/S dah cuti ni kan..sementara nak tunggu kerja membaca lah kisah-kisah begini..

linkin park all the time...

first band  yg saya suka since sekolah menengah..bukan korea ya maaf..masa tu jiwa korea ni belum ada lagi..yg tu selepas tu lah..yg ni dr zaman sekolah lagi..Linkin Park favourite band saya hehe..sebab lirik-lirik dia kena dengan jiwa ni...rock?tak kisahlah janji faham makna dia okay..tp lagu yang paling suka ialah what i've done , leave out all the rest , waiting to the end and new divide....seriously lagu tu repeat berulang kali pun tak pe best...

p/s time to music...exam?alhamdulillah officially done...

birthday shout...

happy birthday to my friend mora and kana..
razny doakan yang terbaik untuk korang berdua..
stay pretty , awesome and i hope you will get what you wish...

tragic...

so that "things" just end like that? after all pain , happiness we face together? how i'm supposed to accept when you guys like that? some of them will betray each other , have a silent war , hurt and anything else...let i remind all of you what we done together in this past one and half year...

1) meet all of you..the one who i already know or meeting new friends..
2) trying to enter the friendship zone..
3) people come and go or in and out..
4) we just a friend from a first time but not close to each other..
5) than start to have close friendship..
6) we laugh , cry , feel the pain together..
7) we shared  food together..
8) then suddenly happen..
9) one by one left those relationship and become the fake relationship..
10) in the end there's nothing left for us to remember as a sweet memory...

so the question is , after 5 or 10 years if we bump or meet each other , those friendship feeling is still have in our heart? or we just forget that like nothing happen?

i'm really appriciate this friendship relation...but i don't know what issues or mistake behind all of this problem..and  i don't  want to know too much..because i'm scared i will cry because this stuff..

BECAUSE i really want to protect this friendship..so don't avoid each other..i don't want to show my other side..because i maybe hurt someone else..

don't fight anymore please my friend..just enjoy our days who only left a few days..and after that...if you want to avoid or not contact to each other that is your choice..and that means i also failed to keep those relationship long last...

p/s take care friends love all of you so much...and i'm so sorry to every sins and mistakes that i have done to all of you...

people..

its hard  to face all of you...some people turn to unexpected behaviour...and i just watching when some of them in their egos and silently became  a betrayer...

i'm not a hypocrite person...but sometimes i make fake smiles to secure myself from being like them..maybe i have an ego but sometimes its good if we don't be so ego..

p/s note to myself..be yourself...

to my future..

haaa...memandangkan nak dekat dah final exam semua ni..debar hati ni makin kencanglah..ye lah tengah nak menghadap exam yang bakal tentukan perjalanan duniawi saya tak lama lagi...
tapi hari ni saya nak share kepada perkara atau mereka-mereka yang bakal bersama atau yang bakal saya perolehi...


Hingga hujung nyawa dirikuBiar aku mencintaimuHingga akhir hayat hidupkuBiar aku menjaga dirimu

p/s kekal tenang sehingga penamatnya..

everyday it's girls day...

so yeah the title is not entri for girls day korean idol..its just the title for us 4 girls today...

haha...makan dia speaking london pulak...#katanya

hari ni main badminton...girls only...asalnya 5 orang saya,anis,aina,khalilah dan filzah tapi anis tak main dia balik lepas tu sebab ada hal..

tinggal lah kitaorg berempat..first main bergu saya team dengan aina...dan filzah dengan khalilah...pemenangnya team saya..haha bangga disitu..lepas tu ada pula game single tapi saya skip part tu terus kepada part saya lawan khalilah single match...

me : khalilah aku nak kalahkan kau 21-0 lah!
Khalilah : berlagaknya...

(padahal saja je cakap macam tu..sebenarnya suka kenakan khalilah..khalilah ni seorang yang easy-going and kira sporting lah tak de lah cakap sikit je hashtag  sentap..lagi pun masa game tadi kalau ikut tarikh lahir dia yang "maknae" iaitu yang paling bongsu ..barulah happening kalau main badminton diam je macam krik-krik baik tak payah)

so kitaorg main, sampai satu saat saya dah lead 9-0 so wish almost come true and khalilah boleh cakap...

khalilah : ala razny 0-0 lah balik tadi aku tak ready..
Me : apa?kau tak ready?aku dah sampai 9-0 baru kau kata tak ready?

(tapi apakan daya kesian pulak tengok khalilah dia buat suara cute dia tu)

Me : okaylah 0-0 balik...(bukanlah melt dengan suara begging khalilah tu tapi tak nak menang macam tu je mestilah khalilah kena fight jugak)

tup-tup dah sampai deuce ada yang saya ketinggalan mata tapi dapat kejar balik..last -last khalilah menang 25-23..that was close..penat dia bukan main...bermandi peluh main dengan khalilah ni...

tapi bila main dengan aina , khalilah dah lembik macam suun..(tau tak suun tu apa?suun tu yang mcm bihun tu yang selalu dimasak dengan sup tu ahh..macam tu lah)

bila saya cheer kat khalilah dia tak boleh pukul bola...lepas tu dia kata...

khalilah : razny diam sebab kau aku tak boleh pukul bola...
Me : ye ke?
saya pun saja je lah cakap-cakap lagi..haah memang dia tak boleh dengar suara saya kalah dia dia dengan aina..sampai lah dia nak pukul tak dapat sampai kena pipi saya..amboi khalilah balas dendam nampak..tapi khalilah kata dia tak sengaja...tak pelah..

anyway nanti kita main badminton seminggu sekali tau geng..its fun....


p/s khalilah yang pasal suun tu aku gurau...hehe..sorry..